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97,735 notes (via gleekstein & moraniarty)
scarsd0nthealwhenyoukeepcuttng:
Alt + Ctlr + reblog sign(double click)
I’m honestly cracking up, and my mum is looking at me like I’m more deranged than usual.
WHY IS THIS IS SO FUCKING HILARIOUS
416,985 notes (via gleekstein & onelifetimee)
He told me this long, winding, convoluted story of his life, involving three women, six jobs, four cities, and two Siamese cats that seemed to be with him the entire time. After about ten minutes, he sensed that I was losing interest, so he said: “I’m gonna summarize: I left New York at the age of 26 with $700 in my pocket. I came back ten years later with $800 in my pocket.”
1,394 notes (via humansofnewyork)
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